Learning to Slow Down

I’ve taken the last 2 months off of social media, and not only that, but really slowed down in a way I never have before.

After doing personal growth work for the last 10 years, I’ve learned there is a divine way of life letting me practice what I teach - and man did I feel this the last few months.

Many of you know the work I teach and coach on is all about fully celebrating and owning the feminine path. The feminine loves to go slow, to honor and listen to her body. To surrender, trust and receive. 

And an area I was really not practicing this fully was in my business. 

There was a lot of filling my days with being on my computer, working long hours, pressure to hit certain goals and do all the things on my to do list; to have a “successful” business.

This is not the first time I’ve seen this pattern in my life; Growing up dancing I always had a full schedule - captain of the dance team, achieving good grades and honors at school. Next was in the tech startup world - I quickly rose to the top of the company with my constant commitment to work the hardest and give everything I had.

This part of me got me far in life, so of course I didn’t want to let it go. Who am I if I am not doing, achieving, working “hard” ?

The answer to that question felt so scary.. For me the voice that was so deeply afraid to slow down was saying;

“What about the money and your business.What will happen if you aren’t doing all the time???”

“What will others think of you?”

“You are being lazy, you can’t just slow down - keep going”

What really brought me to my knees is; I saw the bar or goal I was working so hard to achieve, kept moving. I kept hitting goals, achieving the things I dreamed of in my business and yet.. I felt like I was chasing something that I was never going to catch. Like I was waiting for the next thing to have the permission; “Then I can have more freedom in my schedule, then I can unplug, then I will be able to relax.. then.. then..then” 

Everything in my body was saying; “you need a break, please slow down.” 

So I started asking myself; What could happen in this slowness? What am I really doing all of this for? Who could I become on the other side?

As each day went by things started to shift inside of me.. I am not going to lie, it was uncomfortable. There is a reason we are busy, being with ourselves is not easy.

What came out of this slowing down has deeped me in such a way, I had no idea was possible. As I am writing this and reflecting back, I feel like a different woman than 2 months ago. 

Overall, I feel more alive. And I really “got” this is what success means to me. Feeling fully alive, one day at a time. It is so much more important for me to look at the quality of my days and how I am showing up in the world than the end goal.

AND most likely, the achiever/doer in me will come up again in my journey, and the growth is not that I won’t experience this again, but I know what to do to take care of myself. I know I can slow down and it will be ok. I have gone to a new edge, depth and jumped off the cliff and in the free fall I have found so much more of myself. 

As always my commitment is to be as open and transparent around my journey, so my hope is this resonated with you in some way.