Why Self Love, Must be the First Love


When we say the statement “put yourself first,” it seems like a no brainer, of course we “know,” we come first. But the funny thing is that we usually are the last person we think of when it comes to our time, health, happiness and relationships. Whether you are a wife, girlfriend or friend we seem to always focus on the other person’s happiness before ourselves.  

I am one of the biggest offenders of this. One of my biggest challenges in life is putting myself first. My natural state is being of service to others, helping others find their happiness, love and light. What I have realized is if I do not love myself first then I can not be my true authentic self for others.


Lately I have been seeing more and more situations in my life where I “know” what is best for me but I continue to put the other person’s wants and needs before mine. I know that when my health starts to suffer that I have over committed and have not made myself a priority, and I see this with so many other people. We seem to drain ourselves of all energy, to the point of exhaustion and sickness, before we finally put up the white flag and realize it’s time to take care of ourselves. Why do we do that to ourselves?


We are taught to look outside for happiness and love but the truth is it is all within ourselves. If we would turn inward more often for love and happiness, the fear, stress and worry would disperse. Our ego tells us, if we are not the strong one or not always the supportive one, the other person will not love us, but the truth is that we must love ourselves first. If we do not love and put ourselves first we can not fully love and embrace the others in our lives.


I would love to see you going forward checkin and ask yourself “What do I need?” “What do I feel?” “What is best for me in this moment?” By taking the time to do the things that light you up and provide you with energy, you can continue to be there for others and be the best version of yourself. When you have created a happy loving life for yourself then any relationship is just a bonus and can add to your happiness.


Below are a few ways I continue to put myself first and make my, “self love, my first love.”


Just say No: Sometimes we just have to say "No." Life seems to get busier and busier and we cram our schedules with so many to do’s, appointments, lunch dates, and meetings that we don’t leave time for ourselves. By saying “No,” when we are feeling overcommitted and exhausted, we are putting ourselves first, allowing room for growth and expansion.


Set aside 20 minutes a day: By setting aside time for ourselves we can do the things we live for. Whether it is meditating, doing a quick workout or reading, this time is crucial for us to feel revived and energized for our day, relationships and most important ourselves.


Listen to your intuition: Checking in with ourselves allows us to really focus on what we need in that very moment. It helps us make the decision to put ourselves first and know what that looks like. It may be taking a quick walk outside the office to take a breather, going to get a juice for an extra boost of energy or telling a loved one we need 5 minutes to reflect before we talk. You know yourself the best so checking in and listening to your intuition is key.


I would love for you to share how you put yourself first and choose self love, as your first love.